Post created by Reagan
Hello friends,
Falling in love is an incredible experience that comes with a rush of emotions. We see the process in movies, TV shows and the music we listen to. From the outside, falling in love may look like a magical process that occurs without another thought. In reality, the process of falling in love can be divided up into three steps. We’re gonna use popular songs we’ve all hopefully heard to explain or relate back to each step in the process of falling in love.
Step 1: Lusting For It All
The first step to falling in love starts with lust. Now this first stage is commonly known as “Eros” love because it’s all about wants and desires. Now this first step is funded by the need for sexual gratification and our need to reproduce. Through this first stage, estrogen and testosterone is being released in the female and male brain by the hypothalamus. Estrogen and testosterone have multiple functions but in this case, both play a role in increasing our sex drive or libido. These two hormones are the foundation for lust. A song we can see this phase of love in is “Love Me Like You Do” by Ellie Goulding. A main part of the song says:
“I’ll let you set the pace,
‘cause I’m not thinking straight,
my head spinning around,
I can’t see clear no more, what are you waiting for?
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (like you do)
Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (yeah)
Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do”
In the first line mentioned, we see Miss Goulding describing a feeling of adrenaline or a rush of emotions. Continuing on, it’s also shown the need for touch which is commonly associated with desire or lust. This need for touch comes from the estrogen.
Step 2: The Law of Attraction
The second phase of falling in love is attraction. Although this step can be closely related to step one, we see in step 2 the introduction of the euphoria feeling. This stage uses the brain pathway for rewarding behavior. Dopamine becomes a big factor in step 2. Dopamine is released when we do things that make us feel good. Dopamine is also produced and released from the hypothalamus. Norepinephrine is also released here. Norepinephrine is the hormone released during “fight or flight”. It’s known as adrenaline. Dopamine and norepinephrine combined give a sort of high that’s addictive. Early on in a relationship, even seeing a picture of your significant other can cause a release of dopamine or a release of pleasure. In step two, we also see the hormone, serotonin being reduced. Serotonin is responsible for your appetite. A song that shows step two is “U Got It Bad” by Usher.
“You got it, you got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
You got it, you got it bad
If you miss a day without your friend
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
You got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
You got it bad”
Here we see Usher talk about the desire to not do anything without his significant other. We also see Usher talking about only thinking about your significant other. Both signs point to the attraction stage of love.
Step 3: Attaching Yourself
The third and final step is attachment. The stage of attachment is significant in romantic relationships but also in friendships, parent-child relationships and social relationships in general. In step three, we see the release of oxytocin and vasopressin. Now, oxytocin is commonly known as the “cuddle” hormone. Oxytocin gets it’s nickname because it’s released in high amounts during sex, breastfeeding and childbirth. Now from afar, these three activities don’t seem to share much in common. However, the base similarity of these activities is the chance to bond. Oxytocin may be the reason behind making plans with your partner in the future. Oxytocin is also produced by the hypothalamus. Now vasopressin is responsible for evoking feelings or behaviors of protectiveness of aggression in order to keep your partner safe. An example of this stage is “Better Together” by Luke Combs.
“Some things just go better together
And probably always will
Like a cup of coffee and a sunrise
Sunday drives and time to kill
What's the point of this old guitar
If it ain't got no strings
Or pouring your heart into a song
That you ain't gonna sing?
It's a match made up in heaven
Like good ole boys and beer
And me, as long as you're right here
Sometimes we're oil and water
But I wouldn't have it any other way
And if I'm being honest
Your first and my last name
Would just sound better together
And probably always will”
In this song, we see Mr. Combs is completely in love and even starts to think about marriage. Here, we see long term plans being made. These plans are a product of the hormone, oxytocin being released.
Works Cited Page
The 3 stages of Love. Lowe, Samuel. Mountelizabeth.com. 2020.
Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction and companionship. Wu, Katherine. Hms.harvard.org.
Picture reference: http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
Love me like you do. Goulding, Ellie. Fifty Shades Freed. 2018.
U Got It Bad. Usher. 8701. 2001.
Better Together. Combs, Luke. What You See Is What You Get. 2019.
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